Norman's Nonsense

You wake up. It's 6am, and you're ready to start your day! Unfortunately, you forgot your name. What's your name? (input-box: "XXX=",1) (after:10s)[That is quite a terrible name.] (after:14s)[You're pretty sure your name's Norman, but you decide to be named Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 instead.] (after:18s)[Barf for short.] (after:22s)[[[Time to get out of bed.->Bedroom]]]

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You're out of bed! Congratulations! Now try to get to work on time. You have 90 minutes to get there. You estimate the commute will take 50 minutes. [[Hurry!->Bedroom 2]]

You'd probably better start by putting on some clothes. (set: $shirt to "none") Choose a shirt: [[A suit and tie.->suit]]

How would you like to acquire pants? [[Robbery->robber]] [[Thievery->robber]] [[Larceny->robber]] [[Burglary->robber]] [[Stealing->robber]] [[Buying pants->store]]

You probably want to put on some pants now. Sadly, you lost all your pants in the Stock Market Crash of 2008. [[Go to work without pants->underwear]] [[Acquire pants->pants]]

You need pants to go to work.

Whom's pants do you rob? [[Yours->stupid]] [[George Washington's->time]]

The store has a "NO SHIRT NO PANTS NO SHOES NO SERVICE" policy. [[Wear the sign as pants.->sign]]

That's physically un-possible. The sign is attached to a wall which is attached to the store which is attached to the ground.

You somehow rob yourself of your own pants, despite not owning any pants. In the excitement, however, you accidentally eat them. You have died. Score: 2

You do know he's dead, right? [[Yes->dead]] [[No->what]]

Okay, good. So how are you going to steal his pants? [[Time machine->paradox]] [[Grave robbery->grave]] [[Magic->wizard]]

You should go back to history class.

Time travel isn't real. You attempt to time travel but you accidentally forgot to exist. You are dead. Score: NaN

George Washington's grave requires you to have pants to visit.

You are not a wizard and don't know anything about magicstuffs. [[Learn magicstuffs.->grimoire]] [[Random shenanigans.->wololo]]

You buy a magic grimoire from the internet. It arrives to your house 3 weeks later. [[Read->reading]] [[Write->writing]] [[Burn->burning]]

You accidentally explode yourself. You have died. Score: 1

You can't seem to open the book. [[Inspect the book->brick]]

The book is not flammable.

On closer inspection, the book appears to be a brick. Sadly, you got scammed. You place the brick in your inventory. Your inventory can only carry five items at once. You already have five in there, unfortunately. So you have to drop an item. [[Drop the brick->ow]] [[Drop the boat->boat]] [[Drop the steamboat->bruh]] [[Drop the cruiser->bruh]] [[Drop the aircraft carrier->bruh]] [[Drop the tugboat->bruh]]

You drop the brick on your foot. You decide to scream a profanity. [[HECK!->ow]] [[DARN!->ow]] [[FIDDLESTICKS!->ow]] [[NINCOMPOOP!->timetravel]] [[CONSTERNATIONS!->ow]] [[GADZOOKS!->ow]]

It appears to be a inflatable boat. You decide to go boating. [[Go boating.->boating]]

You drop the large military vessel on your head. You have died. Score: 100

You accidentally explode. You have died. Score: -2

You scream "NINCOMPOOP!" You end up time-traveing to 1784. You're standing near George Washington. [[Steal his pants.->george]]

You've got a shirt and pants! [[Go to work->early]]

You scream "NINCOMPOOP!" again, but backwards. You time-travel back to the present future, the future past, and the actual present. [[Go to work->working]]

You get fired for forgetting to clock in. GAME OVER! Ending: Idiotic

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You wake up.
It's 6am, and you're ready to start your day!
Unfortunately, you forgot your name.
What's your name?

That is quite a terrible name.

You're pretty sure your name's Norman, but you decide to be named Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 instead.